The Thoughts

I am just sitting outside listening to music and a song by The Octopus Project came on. Jacque told me about this song. Funny how things come up like it is a sign. I was just looking at this website less than an hour ago, finally for the first time. It’s taking me a while to let it sink in that Jacque is gone. I have only seen her three times in the past 15 years, but I grew up with her…around her ALL the time. Jacque, Kate, my sister Danielle and I. Over at Grannie and Pop’s house alllll… Read more »

Whenever sorrow comes be kind to it, for it has placed a pearl in sorrows hand. ~ Rumi

I want to apologize to all the women I have called pretty. Before I have called them intelligent or brave. I am sorry I made it sound as though Something as simple as what you’re born with Is the most you have to be proud of When your spirit has crushed mountains From now on I will say things like, you are resilient Or you are extraordinary. Not because I don’t think you’re pretty. But because you are so much more than that. J when I read this it made me think of the loneliness that you must have felt… Read more »

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation ~ Kahlil Gibran

Jacque I love you so much
I’m having a rough time.
I swear you have come to visit me thru the electricity just like we talked about… I swear. The footsteps didn’t happen until after you were “gone”
I miss you. But I know your essence is thriving the way it’s supposed to be now. I miss you saying, “can I ask a favor?” And then just wanting a hug. You’re illuminating in the cosmos and I know B is wit you too. Fuck man. I wish you were here

I’m ay such a loss….we never got to be a mother/daughter…not anyone’s fault…i missed everything…..then I got to meet you again…it was the best moment, seeing you and getting to know the beautiful woman you became… thanks to the best adoptive parents a mother could ever want….I love you princess…. always and forever. Momma Jill

J, When I was 15 you took me to a rave. We danced in the corner, just the two of us, practically all night. At some point near the end, we wandered into the large group of people and some guy came up behind me and tried to grab me. I remember this moment so clearly – you had always been such a short and tiny person but at that moment you were fire. You reached to the ceiling and bled through the crowd and no one could miss you. You put yourself between us and shouted so forcefully he… Read more »

Jacque, I miss you, so so much. You were in my dream last night. There was some kind of time travel happening in the dream (you know how dream logic is), and so in the dream even though you were there we both knew that you were gone. We sat, I held you in my arms and I cried, and you told me that you were sorry. And then I had to go to a funeral so you helped me look for a sweatshirt with a funny logo because that was the dress code and we ended up finding one… Read more »